[Song: Sweet Impact - BoA]

I'm leaving in a few minutes time I guess. It's quite weird, it's like I'm quite looking forward to the trip but at the same time I can't bear to leave as well. And I still haven't finish watching witch yoo hee! Well, the 2nd part of the last episode didn't want to load. Stupid website! Well, I can always catch it when I come back! And there will be coffee prince! Anyway, I got my stuffs today! Like I spent all my money I got yesterday? Hahaha. 3 books, 1 game and new headphones to entertain me during the trip. And yup! I'll be spending my new year there.

Looking back, my holidays has been pretty much, guitar, slacking, training and ______ . Go fill in the blank yourself! That's if you can think what it is! And whatever you think it is is entirely up to your imagination ah! I shall not say anything! :D

DON'T MISS ME! :)

[Song: Rule The World - Take That]

So yup! I just ended my christmas with a christmas run in the middle of the night. And I tell you, my thighs were killing me the whole time, especially when I was running downhill! I had to shortened my steps and it felt like I was runnning constipated! Hahaha! It felt like as if my thighs were going to explode. I felt rather alright at home so I thought I could go for a run but I guess I was wrong.

Anyway, something really funny before I went for my run. I was putting on my socks and my cousins and I heard and really loud BANG! Haha! I immediately punched the air and shouted "ACCIDENT!" HAHAHA! I'm so evil! And the ironic thing was that my sister and I were telling our cousins about the accident last night and how many accidents that had happened there. But yeah, true enough, there was an accident at the cross junction just in front of my house, involving a taxi, a Honda Accord and some other car. All my cousins and I immediately rushed to the window to have a look! Hahaha! It was like their first time experiencing it. My family is pretty much used to it already, countless accidents had happened there already, so it's like nothing new. And the thing was that just last night, there was another accident! Also involving a taxi! Tsk tsk tsk! Taxi drivers are the WORST people ever! They cause freaking a lot of accidents, it's like almost every accident you see, it will involve a taxi. Not to mention that they drive recklessly, cut into lanes without signalling and beat red lights too. Man, I hate taxi drivers, traffic lights and crowded places.

I love this song. It's been on repeat for forever. It's the stardust Original Soundtrack for the ending credits. It reminds me of the movie, which was very nice! I think it's the nicest I've seen to far for my whole holidays! Better than Golden compass which was so overrated.

You light, the skies up above me
A star, so bright you blind me,
Don't close your eyes
Don't fade away
Don't fade away

Yeah you and me we can ride on a star
If you stay with me girl,
we can rule the world
Yeah you and me we can light up the sky
If you stay by my side,
we can rule the world.

If walls, break down, I will come for you
If angels cry, oh I'll be there for you
You've saved my soul
Don't leave me now
Don't leave me now

Yeah you and me we can ride on a star
If you stay with me girl,
we can rule the world
Yeah you and me we can light up the sky
If you stay by my side,
we can rule the world.

All the stars are coming out tonight
They're lighting up the sky tonight
For you
For you
All the stars are coming out tonight
They're lighting up the sky tonight
For you
For you

Yeah you and me we can ride on a star
If you stay with me girl,
we can rule the world
Yeah you and me we can light up the sky
If you stay by my side,
we can rule the world.

All the stars are coming out tonight
They're lighting up the sky tonight
For you
For you
All the stars are coming out tonight
They're lighting up the sky tonight
For you
For you
[Repeat]

OH OH! My younger cousins love my chocolate mousse okay! They kept eating away at it! Hahaha! Means I'm not bad okay! There's hope! Haha! But the only thing was that I thought the texture could be better and smoother. I guess the egg whites weren't fluffy and thick enough when I folded them in. But I found it too sweet? But the kids loved it! Nevermind, I shall try WHITE chocolate mousse next time! :D

[Song: Break It - KARA]
HO HO HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS! This the season to be jolly! Fa la la la la la la la la! Okay that was seriously damn retarded I swear. I for one, hate christmas carols. It's freaking irritating. I've been hearing it at almost every departmental stores I go to. Everytime I hear it, it's like "Okay, let's get the hell out of here". Haha! Hopefully I don't hear it again when I go out to get my stuffs tomorrow.

And I'm still pretty much crippled. Don't ever ask me to kneel or squat or walk down the stairs. I'll just collapse on the floor and in the case of walking down the stairs, I'll most pobably fall and roll down the flight of stairs.

Come come! Let me show you something extremely retarded but unique.

Yeah, that's the replacement my father bought for the chirstmas tree. HAHA! Well, we used to have one until he threw it away for whatever apparent reason!? It's so WHAT THE HELL?! When you see it for thr first time right? Don't know what my father was thinking! And that's the chocolate mousse I made. Yet to try it though. But I think it looks quite shitty. HAHA! Eh! But it's my first time okay! Better than nothing right! And I did it okay! Who say I wasn't going to do it ah! Prove you wrong man! Only that I forgot to buy the raspberries and whipcream to top it off. I bet it will look so much better okay!

[Song: Where'd You Go - Fort Minor]

Hi! My name is Sebastian and I'm crippled. Well, at least for now. The side effects of the AC training has been worse today. My body is aching all over, for reasons I know and do not know. Even my ribs are pain when I press them lightly. I can hardly walk properly, don't even talk about climbing up or going down stairs. It's a real torture. So you can push me around and watch me suffer in pain, but that would be pure evil, and I will get back at you! I think I can hardly even go for a run. I think I'm going to grow fat and die, especially during this feastive season. So i have to watch what I put into my mouth from now on. Speaking of which I want to make chocolate mousse! But there's so many recipes to choose from and I'm wondering when I should do it. Maybe I'll do it on monday. I'll just have to see how much I spend for tomorrow's christmas dinner at marche. There's also a few things I'll have to to get before I leave for Japan, so that I don't die of boredom.

But I'm really bored now.
Suddenly it's all silent. :(

[Song: And If I Fall - The Charlatans UK]

ACJC track training the past few days is seriously no joke man, but it's really fun as well! My legs feel damn shiok now! Haha! If you know what I mean. Well, the people and seniors there are really friendly, nice and supportive! I was quite late today and I thought I was going to be in shit, but thank God, I wasn't. It was the damn traffic jam okay! I swear! It wasn't my fault, I just didn't know why there were so many people today! Must be because it's a damn friday.

Anyway, I went to have my eyesight checked on tuesday and I have degree! OHHHHHH! It's 50 on the right and 25 on the left, yeah, it's really low. But so far until now, I don't have a major problem, I can still see ask clearly as ever! But I guess I'll have to make on when I return to school!? Just to see the whiteboard and all. I can't imagine myself in specs though.

The holidays are ending really soon! I don't want it to end this fast! Well, I guess time flies when you're having fun! And I did have fun! On days when I'm out that is! Teaching how to solve the rubik's cube and watching movies! I think I'm sort of starting to like catching movies. But I've been quite bored so I just have to find things to do and entertain myself! Up until wednesday that is, before I leave as well for Japan. Yeah and that's after christmas! Which is really soon and I hope it will be a good one!

I guess my prayers really work wonders! Haha! Well, I guess all is well now! :)

Anyway, I bet those bastards had the damn it intention.
I hope they get their retribution and burn in hell or somthing.

The world could do so much better without you.

Apparently I can't post videos now.
Screw you Blogger or Youtube!
You're such a pain in my ass!
Now I can't share with the world my GREAT DISCOVERY!
Haha!

You better watch it!
Cause I'll get back at you!

[Song: Snow ((Hey Oh)) - Red Hot Chili Peppers]

So my day hasn't really been much but, I've been clearing up my room. Well, mainly my O level stuffs. Haha, I'm such a good boy right? Okay, forget I even said that. Yeah I know I'm kinda slow. Like super, everyone has already cleared it ages ago I bet.

Before.

After. What drastic difference right? Haha. Now my table is like super empty.Before.After. I wonder if you can see the difference? Well, I mean there's still a difference you know?!And I threw away like 7? Or should I say 8 plastic bags of these size away. Hahaha. My room is like super empty now. And I threw away my sec 1 and 2 stuffs too. Goodness why I kept them for such a long time.

And it rained again! Stupid weather! Go eat shit and die! The sun better be out tomorrow!

The weather has been shitty the past few days.
When will the sun come out so i can play and tann under it?

I think I think too much and too far into the future.
It always scares the hell out of me.
And maybe always holds me back from doing the things I wish to do.
I know I should stop it, but I can't help it. I just have the tendency to do that.
I guess that's what happens when you have too much free time at your hands.

The weather is being very erratic today.

Arsenal's first defeat, Musical Notation, Red Hot Chili Pepper's Snow ((Hey Oh))...FTW.
Something's missing.
I know it.

And No.
I don't pay 11 bucks to get cancer.
There are cooler ways to die.

It's been a lonely day.

Unknown...Despair...a Lost

[Song: Timeless - Xiah Junsu and Jang Ri In]

False Hope.
That's one thing I really hate getting in life. It really sucks. It's like having something crumble everything you took so long to build. The anticipation, everything. I get it from my Dad, my senior, I wonder who's next? It's something I've gotten more often then not, but yet I haven't really learn how to deal with it. Now, I'm really afraid, lost and worried, for reasons I don't really wish to disclose. I really wonder what will happen. Oh well, I guess it's something we all have to live with. I mean life is full of ups and downs right? We just have to deal with it and move on. That's why I went for a run just now. Yes, late at night, all alone. Well, not really, the raindrops were being really nice friends to me. I certainly feel much better now and I hope all goes well. And thanks to my dear beloved friend for cheering me up! You're the best! (:

Anyway, yesterday's PhilHarmonic Winds in Concert was really great! Cool as well! First time I've been in the Esplanade concert hall! It's really nice! Haha! I must say the Korean guest Pianist. Kim Hae-Jung was really sick! Well, in a good way. Maybe some of you might have heard her before. But I pity the piano, it was always mistreated and abused by her. Haha!

I keep listening to this song. I don't know why also. But it's really nice. The more I listen to it, the nicer it gets. And it might be my mood as well.

Look at the time now. It's already 3.24am and here I am still online blogging. So much for wanting to tuck in by 2am. Oh well, I just done with the 2nd episode of Gossip Girls and I think I'm getting addicted to the show. It's really nice.

Long bus rides and long runs are really good for thinking, yes, deep thinking. You'll be really surprise what you can think of if you do. I guess I really like it. There's a lot you get out of it. But sometimes if makes you think of really horrible things as well and it's makes you freaking scared all of the sudden. Sometimes due to no apparent reason. Yes, the mean reds. Sometimes it really makes you see things in a different perspective. The brain is such a powerful tool, scares you at times too. Funny how I keep having thoughts of something but then unsure whether I should do it. How ironic of me. It's like I'm sure, yet not so sure. You know all the equivocation. Oh well, I'll leave it to fate.

Anyway, I'm back from Soiree and I must say it's really fun! I shall not say much. But it's really funny and all. Watching your friends getting drunk and knocking out. Only the stupid shitty weather and the cost of everything was the bad side. It really wasn't worth everything. I'm really broke now. Haha! But that's for now, I'll be alright next week! Which is really soon!

I better sleep now!

Oh shit! I just felt as if my house was rocking again!
Too long on the yacht!

[Song: 거짓말(Lies) - Big Bang]

Last thing I remembered before I was abruptly woken up by my Dad's phone call, was that I was dreaming. Yup, dreaming. Of what? I shall not tell you. Haha, it's for me to know and for you to find out. Which I highly doubt you will ever get it out of me. I can only tell you that I like it, and NO! It wasn't a sick dream. Stupid phone call, I was just getting started la! Okay I shall say no more about it. Haha.

Anyway, my colesaw is back and I hate it. It's very irritating, and ugly. Oh well, on a happier note, the SOIREE is tomorrowwwwww! Woooooo, can't wait, hope it's a good one, despite it being really short.

Damn I'm still half awake.

I think I'm the stupidest kid in the block.

I just delected all my songs with one stupid click.

I was tranferring all my songs to my new com and i deleted the one from the wrong device.

How dumb can I get?

The last time I got the virus was also all because of one stupid click.

OMG!

Someone should shoot me!

And Yup! I'm happy about my new Acer 5920G laptop! :D

But I'm not so now, now that all my songs are gone!
You know it'll take me ages to get them all back! ARGH!
I so wanna cry.

[Song: Last Farewell - Big Bang]

Oh my! I love this song! B to the I to the G BANG BANG! Haha!

I've haven't been blogging for a really longggggg time! Partly cause of that stupid link I clicked and got some virus, which I had to reformat my com, and somehow how I can't use my internet after that. Blah Blah Blah. So basically, I've been finding other ways to try and entertain myself, when I'm at home in the day. Like amusing myself and what's not. Go imagine. Haha.

My body has been aching for the past to days. All thanks to my smartness to do weights. And I doubt it'll be any better when I go for the computer fair at expo tomorrow. Hitman on friday! Wooooo! More movies pleaseeee!

And I can't get hold of my damn senior.

Okay I'm starting to feel really lazy to blog now!
House House baby!

If you're bored during the holidays, come entertain me! Haha!

This post is sooo...erm. Haha, I don't know!
BYE!

I feel down. I wonder why? There's no obvious reason. Maybe it's the weather, it's so gloomy or the song i'm listening to now. I miss something, but i just don't really know what it is. Maybe my life's lacking a little something. Maybe I should search for it. Hmmm...feels strange. It's like I'm happy and yet not. Get what I mean? All the equivocation.

Anyway, I went back for training today with Yvan and it's quite sad to see the amount of people that turn up. I wonder what happened after we left. Almost everyone's not there. I remember how fun training used to be, and I would look forward to every session. The joys we had, the times that we shared. The track team as always been like a second family to me, only much much bigger. It's where I spent the other half of my time, always there on the track, running, jumping, laying around, so much more. It sort of feels like everyone's gone. God, how I miss the track days and school.

Solving the Rubik's cube time and time makes me feel like vomiting.
I don't know why either.

Diarrhoea all day + Vomiting + Having your stomach inside out, upside down = Damn! It wasn't good.

[Song: We Belong Together - Big Bang]

I've diarrhoea all day, and it really sucks. I always have to go to the toilet once in a while. I wonder what happen? Anyway, I hardly see anyone around anymore in church. I wonder where everybody went? And I'm quite tired today. I slept at 6a.m and surviving on 4 hours of sleep. Haha.

Anyway, Grad Dinner on friday night was a real bore. I left my house the time the dinner started. All because I had a hard time trying to find something nice that suits me there. In the end I just couldn't be bothered anymore. My friend pissed me off even before I reached there. Or maybe it's just the way I reacted. I think I should try to control my temper which I've always been trying to. The food, performances and activities planned were all mediocre. I shall not say anymore. But a few were really lucky! Winning the lucky draw and all. Brandon won a new Ipod mini and Bill, a shuffle! OMG! I'm so envious! You can give it to me if you don't want!

Glenn, Edgar, Brandon and I rushed down to town, to get Bill's cake, together with pepsi and tobasco. Yeah, you know where we're getting at. Over to Victor's place, pool, blackjack, guitar, pepsi mixed with tabasco, soccer, john tucker must die and all. Moses had to drink one big glass of pepsi and tabasco! That's when the real fun started. Thank God, I didn't had to drink it, even thought i wanted to try! Haha! Okay I'm weird. Got back early in the morning and slept my saturday away, what a waste when I was supposed to go shopping with my mom, Oh well, next week thn!

[Song: TPL (Talk, Play, Love) - AnyBand]

It's 3.15pm and I just woke up not long ago. Haha, I've been sleeping around 5am for the past few days and I have no idea what's keeping me awake until that time. I guess, I'm grossly noctunal. I feel quite tired in the day but not at night. My day starts in the night and my night in the day. Must be, all the youtube and guitar that's keeping me awake.

Anyway, I just realised how fair I am! It's so disgusting, I'm back to like when I was in primary school! I need to tann soon, and the best way for that means going back for training. Haha. I shall see how. Have to ask a few others to go back too. And I haven't been workout as I've planned for the past few days. I kept going out. So I really have to later on since I'm finally at home for the day. And I hope it doens't rain anytime soon, if not I'll be damn pissed. Haha.

The past few days out, made me want so many things man. Damn Victor and Jit bought new MP3s and I want a new one too! I want the Green K3! I'm quite sick and tired of having to keep buying batteries just to play my Muvo. Maybe I shall ask it for christmas or something! Haha! I want clothing too! I realised too that I have very little clothings. Like I keep wearing the same thing and I always have a hard time choosing what to wear cause there's so little choices and it always seems that I'm wearing the same thing. My mom doesn't want to buy clothings for me too. What an ass. She hasn't bought me anything in ages! Nvm, I shall just buy my Puma jacket now and thn my Onitsuka Tiger next. Too bad there isn't anymore White and Gold adidas Original Jacket that I wanted. I should have bought it way way back before O level started. But then again, I didn't had the money back then. Oh well, the Puma one is just as nice. I might just very well get the Green adidas Original one as my next jacket. I think I have a fetish for jackets. Haha.

Oh, I went out with my dear junior Anselm yesterday to look for his first electric. Haven't been with him for a long long time! He was looking at one that had the shape of a black Stratocaster. Took him to quite a few places to look for it. And he took a super long time to make a decision, but finally we came across a shop that had both the shape and colour that he wanted with a decent price and decent quality. So he got it and I psycho-ed him to get the amps I have cause it's good. HAHA! Evil me. But along the way, at Yamaha, I saw this very guitar that I like. I'll show you!

But it's $1018! The price isn't very nice you know. Even after the discount I can get, it's still very expensive. Oh well, I shall save up and see which guitar I'll get next.

Graduation dinner tomorrow night! I don't know whether I'm excited for it or not you know? But I guess I am? Well, a little? Zach actually proposed a dress code, but I guess none of us are really up to it, cause not many people are for the idea and having to buy the clothings for it is quite a waste of money. So I guess, we'll just anything. I'll just have to ask the others again tomorrow when I see them in the morning for the PAE talk. Speaking of which I have no idea what time is it! Haha. And there's SOIREE coming too! Oh oh, can't wait!

I guess I better shut up now.
Bye!

[Song: DOZING GREEN - Dir en grey]

Woooo! This is Dir en grey's new single and it's really good I must say. They just keep coming out with new and nice songs. And they are celebrating their Decade together as a band by releasing 2 CDs. How time flies. They are Raison D'etre. I've been watching X Japan last live lately too and they are great too. Hide and Yoshiki are gods man. And they recently got back together to come up with the soundtrack for Saw IV.

It's been a really really long time since I was here. I didn't really planned on having a hiatus but I somehow did. There's so many things to say, but I shall not. Anyway, it's just 2 more papers and freedom at last. There's so many things that I plan to do and so many things I want to get.

1. Learn Japanese

2. Go for Guitar Lessons

3. Make sure I learn how to read notes by this year

4. Get a new MP3

5. Get my adidas Original Jacket

6. Get my onitsuka tiger shoes.

7. Find a new pair of white skates

And many others which haven't come to my mind yet. I got my black jeans man. How cool is that. Now I really have to go and find that adidas jacket. I really hope they still have it somewhere man. There's Graduation dinner and Soiree coming up! Can't wait, and I hope they will both be good. Especially the Soiree and no no you're not invited. Haha. I have to catch up with friends too!

I'm very lazy to blog now, cos I'm watching youtube now.
Until then.
Goodnight!

FREEDOM.

BOO! I'm back! Hahaha, cos apparently I found my com, which I'm not suppose to! HAH! My parents say it's not in the house anymore, claiming that my father brought it to the company. Well, now you know never to trust them. Fancy keeping my com somewhere in the house, eventually I'll find it. Like come on, how BIG is my house ah? But well, I know they are doing this for my own good.

Well, the O levels are exactly 21 days, 3 weeks away? Are you starting to panick? Cos I know I am. Which means I'm suppose to be studying now and not be here you know. But well, I'm going to straight after this. I've decided to cut down on my com time, my TV time and whatsoever. I mean a little sacrifice now for the next 1 month plus wouldn't hurt so bad right? It's a necessary sacrifice for a greater victory next time. Would you rather be stubborn and not change and thn later regret later on? No right? Who would? Don't let yourself regret next time, knowing that you could have done better, but didn't. Then, there's just no way to turn back the clock cos everyone has to move on. I wouldn't want to screw up my life just because of these few distractions. Time to shut them off, concentrate, and do well. After that we'll have the rest of the holidays to enjoy, knowing that at the back of your head you have done absolutely everything that you can, and what you get is God given. Just you do your best and God will do the rest!

Time to study now! I mean now! in the afternoon!
Which i've never done before in the past! HAHA!

GO SEB!

I think I'm starting to hate school. Like which school gives mock exams right after prelims? Stupid man, just because the Sec 1-3 are having their final year doesn't mean we have to follow them as well right? Plus they gave us such short notice. So yeah, I ponned school today to stay at home and study my failing chemistry! I seriously need to bring it up man! I've NEVER passed Chemistry before! I remember being good at it in sec 1 and 2, thn came upper sec and I don't know what happened. Maybe it's the teacher or the class! Yes! Must be the damn class. They are fun to be with when it doesn't come to studies. So yeah, my damn it teacher called to look for me! I got quite shocked la, my mom and my sis had to lie for me. I'm such an ass right? And now she says I have to have an MC to cover for today. What a bitch! I'm starting to hate her too, just like the class.

Anyway, I've gotten back all my results and I must say I did really badly. At least not what I expected to get. My first 1 or 2 months is gone! The only place I can go is no where! Know where that is? It's somewhere over there, but i'm not sure where, it's just not everywhere! Sigh. I think I shall go and work man! My mom suggest I work too. So i have to find a job with good pay and then I'll be rich! And buy whatever I want man! Hahaha. I think there a good and bad la. Good is that you get to work and get money, bad is that you miss out on what's going on in JC. Luckily it's not 3 months now, if not i'll miss out on alot alot more. So yeah, I shall use my lousy results as my motivation to study!
LET'S DO IT!

Hmmm, I was lazy to blog yesterday. Anyway, Graduation was yesterday. It was quite funny! When my class was leaving the hall, I walked the wrong way! As I continued walking I wondered:"am I supposed to walk by this way? Why no one following me ah?" Thn I turn around and saw the others walking to the main entrance la! OMG! So paiseh can! Everyone was laughing at me la, even the parents! Besides that, we sang our hearts out and had a great time! I'm proud to be a josephian!

Waited for a very very long time for the others before we left for dinner. Ate at NYDC instead of the proposed Din Tai Fung. Had some "tears in heaven" which was so not heavenly! Ugh! Wasted my 15 bucks. Nevermind, I shall try something else there next time. I finished my share and I cooped Isaac's share, cos he couldn't finish it. Andddddd surprisingly I feel just nice after the meal, maybe cos I ate really slowly. I shall try to eat slowly next time! Hahaha. We went to walk around after that. I was so tempted to buy ice cream, but i resisted it! Hahaha! Walked to paragon and had fun there man! We went to toy R us and play afool there. I bet people there were looking at us and think we were some mental patient escapee. I bought rubiks cube too! And now I think I'll never be able to solve it! Hahaha! It's tiring you know?! The most lame-ass thing was when we went to sit on the merry go round! I mean can you imagine a bunch of grown 16 year olds climbing onto a super small merry go round made for kids?! OMG! We had the ride of our lives! HAHAHA!

Facebook is really really really cool man! All thanks to my Baby for creating one for me! LOVE YOU! It's like 129839043296596 times more interesting than friendster! There so many more things to do there! Friendster is just DEAD! Everyone should go and get Facebook now! I'm going to psycho my class to get them! Heh heh! It's really like friendster and neopets combine together, only that's it's without the pets. The applications stuffs are really cool and some are really fun to play with!

Oh and I didn't go church today! Like wth right? So much for telling people that they much go as well! Ugh! I woke up, planning to go today and it was raining really heavily. Like how the heaven am I suppose to go there man? So yeah, i went back to sleep. Hahhaa. I'm such a bad catholic right?

Today is really not my day! Firstly, I wanted to watch the Arsenal vs Sevilla match but instead they chose to show the Barcelona match, like as if they very big deal like that. So I had to wake up at 5am to watch the telecast. But some how, I woke up and went back to sleep! Like wtf right! So in the end I woke up at guess what time? 6.35am! The buses and taxis were all not on my side today! I waited and waited and waited until thy kingdom come and they still didn't appear. Stupid thing was that I decided to be late for school and took the 77. When I reached Bukit Timah I decided not to go school and turned back home. Sigh! What a morning I had. So yeah, theoretically speaking, I ponned school. Ohhhhhhh. Anyway, Arsenal won 3-0.

Victor checked my english paper for me today. And damn it I got a B4! Like what's wrong with my english? I used to be good in sec 1 and 2 and now it just seems at though it's slipping away from me. Argh! I shall go and read more. He got and A2 man! I'm so jealous! 2nd highest in class I guess? No one got A1 and our class average was about B3-B4 like that. So yeah, I can't really say I'm that disappointed? Quite weird I don't feel that way, cos actually I quite expected it.

I went to cut my hair yesterday and I must say the aunty did a horrible job! I look very very fugly now! I'm going to be ugly for graduation! UGHHH! It's super short! Or maybe, it's not her fault? I told her to like cut 2cm and she said she did. Well, I don't know. I came home and my sis told me that 2cm is alot! Like wth! Okay, maybe I don't know my hair length well enough. Next time it shall me 1cm! Haha! I think I might change hairdresser! Go cut somewhere else! I don't mind paying more if i get a better cut! Humph!

So yeah, I stayed home today and I feel damn badddd. I ponned school and wasn't even productive at home. I'm quite pissed with myself now. I shall make up for it later tonight! Well, I did my brief study plan for the O levels. As the saying goes, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. So might as well right? And try to stick to it. O levels are just 31 days away. Exactly 1 month! Which is extremely short and fast to say the least.

COME ON EVERYONE! Heh!

HEY! HEY!

I'm finally back from the Retreat! I'm super super tired! It's exhausting you know! I must say the retreat was really nice but i wouldn't say very very fun, but still fun though. I had a bed to sleep even though I took back $20 to sleep on sleeping bags! Haha! I'm smart man! Plus there were air cons! It was freezing the whole time during the retreat! Like winter you know! Especially the first day! We slept in the women's dormitory! Hahaha. The water pressure there sucks you know! When you on the water to bathe, it TRICKLES! Plus the water was super cold! So it made you take super long cold super which freezes you in order to like get all the soap and shampoo off you! Combine that with the super cold air coming from the air con room, wah, best man!

Many things happened as well, we were supposed to get into groups which represent the main characteristic of God to you, like Providing, Protector, Warm, Tender and Strict Disciplinarian. Thn each group had to have a representative to say why they think God is as such. And the facilitators, Isabelle and Francis kept countering back what the person said and the group had to like help him to counter back as well. It was super funny! It became and debate session! There was like no end! Can argue until thy kingdom come man! Hahaha. Thn there was this sexuality talk as well and they chased the female facils out of the room. Hhahaha. Father Gerard and Joshua were super funny the whole time la! We had confession and I cried after that? And we had like mass at 10.30pm? HAHHA! Super tiring.

Oh the funniest thing was last night I swear! Or should I say this morning? A group of us, excluding me, since I'm always so guai, Hahahaha, yeah they went to disturb Jeremy in his sleep! They took the blanket and rolled it up like a rope, lifted his leg up and pull the blanket up his..........well groin! HAHAHA! We were laughing like mad! Until even Mr Raymond Wong woke up! The funniest thing was that he woke up but pretended that he was sleeping! Asshole! We were trying to see if he was awake and said like funny retarded things to make him laugh but he didn't respond. Thn they said somemore and he pointed the middle finger in his sleep! HAHAHA! We knew he was like semi-awake la! So they stop disturbing him and covered him up with the blanket. Thn we continued to look at him, but he started spasming! Like at first was a little, thn it became worse so we thought he was still cold. After covering him up again, he didn't stop. So we thought it might be his sleeping position and tried turning him around. He didn't stop and Ian and John Paul got worried, like what's wrong with him. They went to wake Mr Wong up to take a look and when Mr Wong went to have a look at Jeremy, he woke up said:" HELLO!" OMG! I Swear we all wanted to kill him! We all whacked up him! Stupid idiot la! Made us all worried! Thn over at Glenn's room, they were playing the peeing game. They played tai di and the loser had to drink water! Few of them drank so many cups, they had to pee like after 45mins la! I tell you ah, watching them play ah, I felt like peeing as well! Serious! HAHAHA!

Oh oh! And there was this facilitator named Joshua who asked me if i'm mixed? Like huh! Don't I even look like I'm mixed? He asked me the exact same question last year you know! Hahaha! He said that I look a bit Hawaiian, Mexican that kind? Like wth! That's so far off! Hahaha! There was this malay aunty at Seven eleven, who asked me if I'm angmoh! Like WAH! Even worse right! Way way way too far off! Hahaha!

Yay! I'm finally done with watching I DREAM! Like after such I longggggggg time! Now I'm going to watch High School Musical. Heh. I played soccer just now and I think today's my day? Hahaha, I scored the 1st goal of the match, scored with a damn nice volley, scored with my left leg, right leg and head as well. But after awhile, my feet started aching after all those running. My blister split open again, well slightly la. Not that bad.

Okay time to go!
Argh, I swear everything I listen to this song, it really makes me regret what I did and what I didn't do. Damn it! I should go and die seriously! Fuck.

Goodnight! BYE!

YAY! Prelims are over and done with! I have a feeling I won't make it for first 3 months though. I feel like playing! But I'm really tired! Unfortunately I can't really relax and rest cos I still have to go for the RME Retreat! Sigh. Like come on! Give me a break man! Straight after prelims?! WTH la! It's all the way to sunday! Means there is no day for me when I can wake up at my own time! Nvm, at least I have Leslie and Nicholas there. Yvan can't go cos apparently he's REALLY sick. I think this time round the retreat will be a good one.

The weather been's really GREAT to me today man! I was supposed to go running and it rained! Always wrong timing one! I need to lose weight seriously! I'm getting fatter! You know I've already gained back 2kgs! ARGH! HAHA! Anyway, I wanted to finish I Dream by today, but apparently I can't! I only managed to watch til episode 11! Two more to go! Episode 10 is really funny la! So retarded! I had to pack my bag as well, that's why I couldn't finish.

Okay okay! I think I better go now! Or I'll be late!

TATA!

You colour my world!

[Song: Neotenii - Nightmare]

OMG! I Love this song as much as I LOVE YOU! It gets me all high! Okay so I haven't been blogging lately. Maybe cos I was just super lazy to? Well, I've been super high and happy lately, for APPARENT reasons. HAHA! Anyway, I went shopping on wednesday! Yup! And I bought my Lacoste Polo Tee! Although it's not the colour I wanted, but whatever you say goes! I'll just save and get another one! Or Another two! Hahaha, My light green and orange! I hope they will have the slim fit ones for those colours when I buy them the next time!

I got my guitar picks! But they didn't have my guitar strap! Guess what the guy told me, oh you can try again in a FEW MONTHS TIME! How long does that song to you? Like wah! Might as well next year thn come back! Hahaha, I'll shall go back soon. Make sure I get it. Oh Oh! And I saw Kaoru Niikura's Ganesa! Though it's not the ESP one, it's the lower end Edward's series. But it's still expensive you know! Around $1699, not sure about the all black one though. Imagine the ESP one, maybe like $4k-$10k? Oh and EMG 81 and 85 together cos $280, Seymour Duncans SH-1n with SH-4 together cos $224. Like where the hell am I going to get the money for that huh?! I love these 2 Ganesas the most! I WANTTTTTTTTT!

I really have to study today and over the weekend already! I think I've been very very unproductive this holidays! Partly due to me always having no mood to study! Which is badddddd! I need my A1 for physics and A.math! Come on man! You can do it too!

Oh well, Got to do now!
BYEEEEEEEEEE!

No one's going to take our Sunshine away.

Sometimes I really wonder what's become of me? I not the person I used to be. I don't remember myself being like that. Well, I just people change over the years right? Who can I blame but me, myself and I? It was never my intention to keep you waiting. NEVER. Why would I want to wait? Even I myself can't believe myself! Guess it's just my nature that I'm like that. Yes, I've realised lately I've been extremely indecisive, even with you not telling me I realised just as much. But it's not always that I'm indecisive, when we make decisions, I always let you make the decision is because I just wanted you to have what you wanted, what I want is not important at all. You come first, I matter not. Maybe that's why I'm always seem indecisive. I admit that there were times I wondered whether or not I should go with it or just stop there, but those were in the beginning. Every time we're together, the less I get that feeling, but it seemed to have crept it's way back lately due to the things that happened between us? One really damn good example was last night? I really didn't message you because I always wondered how you thought of me! Like I get the feeling you're over me because you've been so indifferent to me lately. Well, one thing is for sure, my feelings for you has NEVER wavered. It's been the same since we started off and it's the same now, only stronger.

Once more...

[Song: Raison D'etre - Nightmare]

Arsenal won 3-1 against portsmouth! YAY! Even with 10 men left! I think Senderos is freaking jinx! He always gets a straight red card for the challenges he makes! Like wth man! The pass few seasons also like that, have to be more careful man. Rosicky and Fabregas scored! Man, I love them! Anyway I was playing soccer just now and I must say today sucked. So many of the freaking Maritains came! All overgrown one! And they are all damn rough! One of them pushed me when I cleared the ball from him when he was about to shoot and I FLEW man! HAHAHA! Now I have abrasion on my kunckles la!

I have to go back to queensway tomorrow man! What a waste of time! All because I bought half size too big! adidas cutting sucks I tell you. Their US9.5 is not 9.5 when I compared to my Nike ones. OH OH OH! I went to check if they have the size for the white and chrome Nike spikes that I wanted and they have it! OMG OMG! I shall save money and order it! I love it to the core man! And hopefully I can get my new jump spikes from Japan later this year.

I watch Ratatouille last night with my family. It was mother's lame idea to watch it! HAHAHA! Like a grown woman wanting to watch cartoon! But I must say the show is really not bad you know, it's quite nice, I really don't mind watching it again.

I want to go shopping this holiday! I must do it! WHO WANT TO GO WITH ME!?!?! I want to buy my Lacoste polo tee, well hopefully if I still have the money. I want to go peninsular and get my guitar strap and new picks! And check out what's new there. Hopefully I can buy a PSP game too! The Sims 2 is really cheap! Like $30+. Oh I saw the new PSP slim version yesterday! It just arrived on friday! It's $299! Relatively cheap, I shall sell away my current one and buy the new one! I'll make sure I get white this time! HAHAHHA! I love it!

Tata!

Finally I get some rest! I haven't been touching the computer for a week! That's quite long i guess? English paper 1 was quite okay? But not paper 2! The stupid school wanted to kill us! Idiot one! My brain was literally jammed after that! And I rushed my summary like siao! I wonder if I can still get my A1! I just wanted to go home and you stone there until the effect subsides. A 15 min nap did it for me, before I left for the library.

E Maths on monday was quite okay? But I doubt I can get my A1 anymore. I found paper 1 hard and I screwed up my paper 2 with like 3 or 4 major mistakes?! Oh and I screwed up my Social Studies essay to! One of it. I was going to do Venice and I forgot the points for the first essay! It was like after I completed everything else that I recalled it! By then, there was very little time left. Chemistry I must say for the first time in my life, I'm confident of passing! HAHAHA! I've never pass once since upper sec! I realised Chemistry isn't that hard you know! I shall start mastering it for Os!

Then came a break cos Art was on wednesday. I had a really good nap! So I became a bloody mugger yesterday! I studied geog the whole day and I still couldn't finish it! So I didn't managed to finish the paper today! I wonder how retarded people like leslie and Jit Yong can write 16 pages when I only wrote like 9 pages? Must train my speed already! Nevermind, there's still paper 1 for me to makeup. Physics, A Maths, Chinese and Elect Lit is the week when holidays open! Means I have to study during the holidays and make damn sure I get As for those, well expect of course Chinese! HAHAHA! I can NEVER get it!

So I have an early holiday which starts today! Or tomorrow I should say? I want to do many things! I want to go out, and play! and Shop! and have fun! But still study! I hope I have a chance to make one of those days one that I will remember! After such a long time! I have like 100 plus in my wallet and 100 plus in my bank and I have absolutely no idea what to do with it! Even though I have many things that I want to buy, see how, I'm still deciding.

Oh, the more I see Frankie, the prettier she gets! HAHAHA!

Got to go now!
BYEEEEEEEEEE!

As long as you're dreaming, we're not giving in.

[Song: Dreaming - Frankie and Calvin]

I'm addicted to this songgggggg! It's nice! I keep singing it to myself in class! HAHAHA!

OHHHHH! Tomorrow is the start of my prelimssss! It's english and I want to get my A1! Well, hope I get it! STUDY STUDY STUDY! YOU CAN DO IT TOO! Okay I have to go now! Night studies!

BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE!

This week is going to be really busy man! Like some super studying week. I had my first Chinese lesson yesterday for those retaking and I must say it's really good man. You know why? Cos there is no more Aaron Goh!!!! HAHAHHA! He seriously can't teach for nuts. Now there's these 2 super good chinese teachers teaching just the 6 of us. Good right?! Doesn't mean there's only 6 retaking chinese ah! There are still others with other teachers. But these 2 teachers, their form classes had the most number of A1s i think? My friend was like "Wah, the first chinese lesson after 2 years!" HAHAHA! Damn mean! Oh oh, both the 7pm and 9pm chinese drama are gone! BOOOO! Nothing to watch now. Which is also a good thing la. Lucikly the 7pm one will return! Yay! Come on Cheenaaaaa!

I really need to catch up on my Geog and Chem man! I want to pon school tomorrow and head to the library to studyyyyy! School tomorrow is super waste of time! Unproductive shit! That's why I want to ponnn! I hope my mom allows. I told my Dad this morning. I shall go and pester her when she comes home tonight. Plus I've been super tired these 2 days! I keep falling asleep in class! I need to catch up on my sleep! So if i'm allowed to pon, means I can sleep a little more! I want to study on friday too! After my English paper! Wish my luck man! I need to go and revise the format for situational writing. I hope there will be night studies even when exams are on! Speaking of which I didn't go yesterday and today! And If I pon school tomorrow, I doubt I will be going as well. So thursday is the last day for me this week. So sad, it's fun you know and porductive too!

I'm going to study my ass off now! HAHAHA!

TATA!

[Song: Don't Drop That Dime - Velvet Revolver]

This song never fails to cheer me up! HAHAHHA! It's super funny! Image a hard rock group playing country music! OMG! HAHAHA! I came to realised that if you keep yourself in that feeling forever, you will be less likely to ever come out of it. So you have to do something about it and end all your misery! Maybe there's some bright side after all? Okay I think I'm quite high now, after all that singing and jumping around!

Got to go for night studies real soon and after that we are going to have a bit of fun amid all our busy lives. We are going out to eat after that, dinner for me and maybe supper for others? HAHA! I don't knowwwww. It's going to be the first meal of the day too! I'm not aneroxic ah! Don't send me to the SGH rehab thing hor! I'm just saving money! Hahahha!

Well, I'm really sorry.
Looks like I've done it again.
It's not your fault, it's mine.
I'll try my best, and we'll be closer than ever.

[Song: HADES - Dir en grey]

Flaws. I've realised that I've plenty of that. I have a damn fucked up attitude that always hurt the people I love most, so maybe it's best to stay away from me? Not that I want to, but I always end up doing it somehow. I lie, so never believe a thing I say. Everything I do always come backs to me, so I have to change. I tried, it's not as if I never try. I keep telling myself that, but sometimes it just gets the better of me. Everything is my fault, what goes around comes around. Why is it that people all around me seem to be in a better position than I am? Sigh.

Yes, I was lonely, I was sad, but I wasn't angry. What if one day someone asks you out and you both agreed but that person doesn't turn up? How would you feel? All I ever wanted to do was to spend time with the one I love most, but it was not to be. Oh and I realised that patience in me is really just another self-denial thing that people say I have. It's all bullshit. I've none of it. I've learnt it the hard way and I still need to improve on it.

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ, now I know my ABC, won't you come and sing with me? HAHAHHA! Okay I'm bored.

BYE BYE BYE!

[Song: Brand New Beat - BoA]

I've been seriously lost and confused these few days. After getting back my Chinese results. I've been thinking whether I should retake it. What if i get the same results? Will it affect my time spend on other subjects and whether they will be affected? Sigh, I really don't know. All I know is that I signed up for it and I'm going to retake it. I really really hope I do well this time.

Well, I had my English Orals yesterday and I seriously don't know how well I did. I'm really really scared. Reading was perfect, picture was quite erm......bad should I say? I don't know whether it's bad but I felt it was the worst among the 3 components cos the picture was just this bus stuck in a flooded road and people pushing it. That's all, nothing else. Many of us felt that there were quite little things to talk about. Conversation was pretty average i guess? The first question was "How do you find Singapore's weather?". Not that hard, but the weather's been quite erratic lately so it's quite weird. Oh and there was this question "Have you ever been in a life threatening situation?" but still considering the weather. I said no, then they moved on. I mean what's there to say? YES! YES! I've been and talk some crap up? But that's the part that I'm quite scared about, whether it will pull my marks down?

Even now I still feel very lost. Like my life is some sort of maze that I have to find my way out. My mood has been quite erratic too. Maybe it's just the stress and all? Hopefully I guess. Sometimes it just makes me wonder what I should do? The plan that I always wanted to do now seems to have disappeared before me. I don't know even know if I will ever do it again? Well, I did want to but it just seems all too weird now, after what had happened. Whether it is or it's not? I guess I'm quite a failure in everything I do. Sigh.

This song always cheers me up.

So I've gotten back my chinese O level results are I must say I'm really disappointed in what I've gotten. I got like a freaking C5? How's that man! I bet even my younger cousin did better than me la! Sure one! Confirm! I really felt like crying in class. And what sort of pissed me off too was that those bloody idiots who play and disrupt Chinese class everyday got B3! How unfair is that! Well, life's like that! We just got to live with it and just let it go. Maybe it's what God has given to us as well, so we should be thankful for that. I really don't know if I should retake? The thought of having to go through all that shit again is OMG! Hell no man! I mean even if I get a better grade for Chinese which is B3 at max! I doubt I will use it to be counted into my L1R5. It just looks better on the certificate, so like what's the point? Why waste time on a language when you could be spending that time on your other subjects? I really hope this would spur me on to work harder in my other subjects. Remember if I can do it so can you! Hahaha!

By the way, did I mention that we celebrated Mrs Woo's 63th Birthday today?! HAHAHA! It was really nice of us to do that. Okay what am I saying, she should be the one saying that! But yeah she DID say that! HAHAHA! The class was blowing the balloons during chemistry which I thought was really quite an inappropriate time cos the class wasn't really paying attention. All they care was about their blow jobs! Hahaha! We got her some pig soft toy as her present tied to a balloon. Anyway we bought her this really huge $66, 2kg mango cake which was custom order just for her! And you know being such a greedy pig I had my second serving even though it was a really small piece.

I didn't go for night studies today, partly cos I'm not in the mood for it since my chinese results are a let down and my friend isn't going tonight. Yes yes I'm a bad boy. But I promise I will go tomorrow! I shall not procrastinate anymore! I need to catch up on my studies! Prelims are very very important as you have to use it for you PAE. So yeah, must do well! Let's go!

I'm damn hungry! I shall go and find food nowwwwww!

Okay, I think I'm still suffering from the effects of Sakae Sushi that day! HAHAHA! I mean I've been feeling very bloated the past few days! Like even when I'm hungry, but my stomach is like bloated? Like there air inside man. Speaking of which, I have no lunch now. My family has abandoned me to watch Rush Hour 3! I want to watch it la! All because I have tuition later! But i think even if i didn't have tuition, I doubt I will still go. I need to study man! So now I'm home alone! Boring man!

I think from tomorrow onwards I shall go for night studies. I really need to catch up on my work, especially my geog and chem! If i go, thn means i can't get to watch all my chinese drama! So it's YOUR job to tell me what happens! HAHAHA! Anyway, the 7pm one is going to end soon. BOO! I want to know what happens!

Running and soccer later, you will see me break my legs! HAHAHA! I mean my street soccer shoes are really useless now. There's no more grip on it. Everytime I run damn fast and change direction I will SURELY slip and fall! Sigh! I need a new pair man! I want that freaking nice adidas one! I shall get money from my mom. Heehee.

I shall be a good boy and study now!

[Song: You're so pretty-We're so pretty - The Charlatans UK]

I've been really slack this week man! I have to really get down on my studies and prelims are just 15 days away! I even went out yesterday, oh but who cares, it was time well spent! Had Sakae Sushi buffet and I was so freaking full after that man! You know I came home to weight myself and I gained freaking 2kgs! Don't know who's smart idea it was huh! But I'm back to normal now. Hahaha. And and and I think that's the most expensive meal I ever spent on and ever eaten! It was like near $45 bucks for just myself? Around there la, plus the stupidest thing I did was to order so many red plates and it sort of defeated the purpose of buffet! Hahaha! That's why my mom always say I need to find a job that can suit my expensive taste next time! Nevermind, time to start saving again!

Oh the Sony PSP slim version is not out yet, but I want it! It's like slimmer and the ram speed is faster! Plus I don't like my black one! I WANT A WHITE ONE! Should have waited a bit longer last time! I need to buy need games too! My PSP is seriously under utilise, my memory stick space storage is also super small! Need to get a new one! But it all voice down to money man! Tsk! Means that will be quite some time from now man! I think maybe after Os? Hahaha.

I think I should shut up now. Tuition later and today is really study day!

Toodles!

Dear God, please help me to freaking open my damn mouth! ARGH!

A heart to heart talk is always good you know. It's makes you realise the things you never knew and never noticed much about yourself. So it's time to change, for the better, for the people around me and for myself. At least that's what I will try my very best to work on now. I'll do anything for you.

School today was a total waste of time man! I didn't bring anything to school and I felt really empty! Like as if something is missing! Had mass and Yvan was acting really retarded the whole time! I fell asleep during the homily! Guess I was super tired!? The celebration after that was way worse! Argh! Let's not talk about it!

My friends came over for soccer today! What can I say? It was really fun and retarded! Isaac and I were cracking jokes and acting retarded the whole time! Even so, we could still provide the goals man! It was really really hot! Like burning man! Idiots wanted to play so early! We could all have melt man! But nevermind I got my tann! Even though it's not as much as I wanted! I wore my jersey and it had sleeves so yeah, the top part of my arm is not tann! ARGH! I had to mop and vacuum the floor after they left man! I can go and become some maria already! What a bright future I have! HAHAHHA!

GOODNIGHT!

I love you too!

NATASHA RAEANNE YEO YUL JIE! What in the world did you do to my tagboarddddd! You must be really really high when you did it man! Come and spam my tagboard! You crazy, mad, !(&%*@(#&@ Girl! Anyway what did you do man!?!?!?!?!

Anyway, I got my new LG SHINE KU970 on sunday man! While you have to degrade to a lousier phone! HAHHAAHA! That phone never fails to amaze me! Love it man! Now I only have to put my stuffs inside man, which I didn't had the chance to do so. And yeah, my mom doesn't know that I change phone! HAHAHA! Me and my dad kept it away from her with our good acting skills. Know why? Cos we know that if she finds out she will confirm make alot of noise! HAHAHA! Only thing I woke up later yesterday cos the alarm wasn't really loud enough? I don't know? Have to try it out again today. But luckily my dad sent me to school.

Many things happened yesterday I must say. I had flu for the whole day in school man! So freaking irritating! Don't know how I got it as well! Either I got it in the car or someone in school passed it to me! There's this problem with me, once I sneeze, my nose will start to run and I hate it! Argh! I used like half of my friend's tissue box? And my table was like some toilet bowl? It was like a quarter filled with soiled tissue paper! Talk about germs man! Now the side of my nose is super raw and painful whenever I rub it, due to the amount of tissues I used! Even now I still have a bit of flu but much better than yesterday. But I can't sing for nuts now! BOOO!

We went to Shatec after school for some Western Dining Etiquette. It was super retarded I swear! I had to play role the girl and Moses had to push in the chair for me. Eh! Once in a lifetime experience okay! Hahaha! I was quite unsure to sit down at what speed you know! Like what happen if I fall down and all how!? But Moses did a great job for me la. Now it's my turn to do it for you! Anyway, they served us a 4 course meal and we were all super bloated after that! Smoke Salmon for appetizer, Cream of mushroom for soup, some chicken thing for main and some strawberry cake for dessert. The food was bad but it wasn't very good either. Quite normal? We kept asking for bread la! Like free flow like that! The other tables as well! Super retarded! What's more was that waiter who serve us looked like feaz or however you spell it from "That 70s show!". And I was playing with the brown sugar in my tea after everything. I added alot and it didn't dissolve completely.

Anyway, Physics Practicals are later! Yup, so here I am at home still slacking away. I really don't want to screw it up! I hope I know what to do for the planning of experiment and draw my graph well and take note of the accuracy of the instrument I'm using! Wish me luck man! Speaking of which Prelims are like just 3 weeks away? Or lesser? Have to really study study study. Must make up of the up coming holidays to study!

I shall go for my run later!

BYE NOW!

[Song: Let It Roll-Velvet Revolver]

Oh how I love school on fridays. It's such fun! Yesterday was really funny during P.E. We were all playing touch rugby and we were laughing like mad! There was this moment that William got the ball and started running and 3 of us started to chase him! Then we touched him at the same time, so I guess the force was pretty strong, so he jump, flew and landed rolling on the field! It was damn funny man! Everyone was laughing our heads off! Plus 3 of us were the quite big size kind? HAHAHA!

Then during Physics, Mr Lam accidentally pointed the middle finger at us! Stupid man! He didn't realise at first cos he was "still got one more thing" with his middle finger in the air! When he realised he started to really point it at us! Retarded man! Thn Edgar went to bluff me also after school! He told me that this soccer player transferred to some Iraq soccer club called Baghdad Bombers! Then I went to believe him! OMG man! Then I was thinking where got soccer club call themselves Bombers?!?!?!?! Only later then he told me:"wah! like that you also believe me ah!" Freak man! Well! That's the problem with me! I always believe people damn easily one! So easily until I always get tricked! ARGHHHHH!

Today was quite okay? I managed to study geog after I came home from tuition for 3 hrs before leaving for my wai po jia. So it wasn't as bad as yesterday where I totally slacked man! Oh did I mentioned that I wanted to go for night studies last night when I couldn't find my house key! So I couldn't leave the house! I was searching high and low for it until I pass the time man! So I unpacked my stuffs and found it in between my damn books! Stupid man! Okay so yeah, the others played mahjong so my cousin and I went to Tiong Bahru Plaza to do some grocery shopping for his house. He treated me to coffeebean man!

That's about it man!
Goodnight!

The first thing I wrote with it was your name.

Looking back then, I thinks it's really a stupid thing overall. Yeah, something superbly dumb that I did man! Nevermind, what matters now is that we both forget it and move on. Forget the bad memories and keep the good ones.

I feel damn guilty now. I didn't go for my run as I had planned! Shit! I feel like I'm gaining weight and that I wasted my time. ARGH! Nevermind, I shall go tomorrow! I swear! Only 24 days left to prelims man! I might just go for night study tomorrow, depending. Cos I always feel damn slack on friday nights. So must force myself to study, especially for Chem, Geog, SS and E.maths which are all before the september holidays!

So yesterday chemistry practical was quite okay? Only that I got my calculations wrong, ARGH! and I didn't study on how to prepare the experiment thing. Something really funny happened after that. I went around asking what cation the others got. They said calcium carbonate, thn I got a shocked cos I put Zinc. Then someone went to ask 2 of the chem teachers, they said it's zinc carbonate! HAHAHHAHA! I laughed right in their faces man! Stupid idiots made me super scared la! When they heard, they all got frightened! HAHA! You should have seen their faces man! But then I didn't put carbonate, so wrong as well...shit man! I tested for carbon dioxide TWICE and even saw like 4-5 bubbles but no white precipitate form! Wtf man! Not fair! I want to complain! My chemicals contaminated la!

Oh how I hate Tuesdays. There's always double physics at the end of the day, when everyone all dead tired. Moreover, Mr Lam's lessons are really dry and boring. I can't stand it. Every single seconds seem to crawl man! Plus I had to hold my bladder for like 1 hr today? Idiot one! I was freaking urgent la!

Anyway, Chemistry Practical for Prelims is tomorrow. Have to go and memorised all those tests, anions and cations. Oh my. I have to start really soon. Hopefully I don't screw it up man! Wish me luck.

I'm going to run first!

Bye bye!

Why does it feel like I'm back at square one?

Bet you a billion trillion bucks you can NEVER find anyone else that can beat me in screwing things up for themselves. I just always happen to do that. I'm a failure, nothing I do ever seem to go right. I just realised lately that I'm a very very shy person and that's not a good thing. It's like when you set up your mind to do something, there's just something or someone holding you back. Sucks big time I guess?

Don't you wish you could turn back time? Retrace every wrong that you made? Take back all the pain? Erase every unpleasent memories? Well, the sad thing is that you can't. I guess we all pretty much have to move on and start all over again. Forget the past, forget the wounds, forget the sadness. Hope that time will heal all wounds. We'll progress from here on.

So I went back to have my hair cut again! I didn't like the back, made me look like some freaking ah beng or whatever. Anyway, tonight is the night I start my night studies. Yup, alone, under the moonlight. Have to get some sleep soon so that I can concentrate tonight. I was just freaking tired the whole day, considering that I slept at 2a.m last night? Watching soccer and playing my guitar after that? Yeah, Arsenal won the Emirates Cup, signs of greater things to come. I realised that without the computer, I'm missing out on some really important things with carries great significance to me. Sigh.

Bye now SUCKERS!

[Song: Yesterday-The Beatles]

Yesterday, all my troubles seem to far away.
Now it looks as though they're here to stay.
Oh I believe in yesterday.

Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be.
There's a shadow hanging over me.
Oh, yesterday came suddenly.

I'm such a ass, yes, a very very big one. I practically screwed up the day for myself, and it's entirely my fault. I didn't know why I did it as well. It was only in church that I asked myself why I'm like that, and I couldn't find any answer.

Well sometimes, I guess life doesn't really goes your way. The path is never ever smooth. There are always bound to be difficulties in life. There are always ups and downs. I just hope we can overcome this small problem and move on. Forget the past, forget the conflicts we had and start all over again. There's only one you, and no one can ever replace you.

Sometimes, I really don't know why things don't turn out well for me. But I can only blame myself. I tried acting dumb but I guess it backfired. All I wanted to do was to be sincere and ask you again personally, but you didn't give me a chance as well. Well, what can I say, I created the problem myself, I guess it's entirely up to me to solve. Sighhhh.

Call me a dick,
an asshole,
a bastard,
a fucker,
an IDIOT,
yes I'm an IDIOT, a bloody big one too and I can't denied that, I agree with you fully. I can't even remember to bring the damn card that I stayed up so late just to do it. After all the time we've been through, I don't want it going down the drain just like. Nearly 7 months just gone like that.

I'm really really sorry.
Yes, I regret it.
I hope you will forgive me.
Give me a chance to make it up to you.

I said something wrong,
now I long for yesterday.

I still Love You, yes, I really do.

I cried my way home.

[Song: Can't Get You Out Of My Head-Velvet Revolver]


HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY NATASHA RAEANNE YEO YUL JIE!!! May your life be as colourful as the colours on your name! HAHAHA! May the day you turn 16 be the day you will remember the most! I LOVE YOU! STUDY HARDDDDDDDD!!!


Today's a really a bad day for me, and I mean really bad. I got rejected twice today. Well, sort of. I didn't make it into the team for the ortega cup because they put me as a midfielder when I got into last year's team as a striker? Fucktards. I nearly cried on the bus on my way home. I was just looking back at how the whole day went. Luckily for that phone call that took my mind of it. I just want to play being it my last year in the school. But seems like no. Of all days it has to be today. Sigh.


Looking back at my past 4 years in SJI. I'm sad to say that it isn't a good as I imagined. The last 2 years of my life in this school has been really horrible. I really hate the class I'm in as compared to my sec 1 and 2 class. That's why I'm really against the making of the class-tee. Yes, call me wet blanket, whatever, I don't care. This class is just fucked up. They just don't know where to draw the line. Every teacher has a problem with our class. Screw it. I feel like just ponning school and studying all by myself at home or something. Yes, away from them. My track and field hasn't been too good in the last 2 years as well. Twisted my ankle in sec 3 and I performed like shit this year. Now I wonder if going to SJI was indeed such a great idea after all. Maybe it is from the friends that I get, but not in the other things.


Oh you know after Chemistry supervised study today, I realised that Chem wasn't all that hard man! HAHAHA! It sort of motivated me to start studying chem! Yeah man! My A.maths also need work as well! I just want to do well for prelims man and keep my choices open.

I want to buy sooooooooooo many things man! But I guess it's my phone first! I want a new bagggggg tooo! I can't stand my bag! It's freaking big man! Bleah! I shall save now and go shopping during the september holidays!

GOODNIGHT! Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

Nevermind, I can wait as long as it takes.

[Song: Get Out the Door-Velvet Revolver]

I bought Velvet Revolver new album yesterday! And I don't even regret it one bit! Haha, it's that good. Love them man.

I want to go shopping man! I only have $50 now. I don't know what i should buy cos there's so many things that I want! I don't even know if I should buy clothes first or save up for my phone first. Hmm I shall decide man!

This week is going to be hell man, is it? Okay I'm not sure but I guess it should be, judging from the number of tests I have! I don't even have time to watch Harry Potter and I want to watch Vacancy too! Maybe I might just go and watch this thursday. Need to study nowwwwwwwww!

Bye bye bye!

[Song: The Last Fight-Velvet Revolver]

As I was sitting in my seat waiting for today's Chinese Listening Comprehension to start I felt this strange feeling come into me that made me think what exactly I'm doing, what exactly I'm sitting for. Well, I figured it's just a another passing milestone in our life that we'll just have to go through. But for some reason, this milestone will stay with us for quite some time in our lives. You can either say it's significant or not significant, but that's up to you. I still think we should let ourselves down. Maybe we don't know want we want in life, but I think we shouldn't take second chances and do our best. Thn that way we won't have any regrets in life next time when we grow up.

Enough said, anyway I won't say the listening comprehension was easy, neither was it THAT difficult. Only question 3 and some said 10 was tricky? I put A and D respectively for both. I just hope I get them right! Next week as going to be freaking busy with 2 maths tests and what's not. Then I might also go for the ACS(I) Battle of the Bands thing to support my friend. We shall see!

Anyway, I want to go shopping man! I still want my Light Green Lacoste Polo tee and the perfect berms for me and other other things! I just need more clothes! I always have a hard time deciding what to wear every time I go out! Like it's always the same old thing!

I shall go and be a good boy and study now!
Neh neh ni poo poo! HAHAHA!

This fight could be the last fight, so why don't we make it a good one?

How much do you love me?

Maybe I'm a little better now.
Maybe I'm a little surer now.
Maybe I'm a little clearer now.

Make me sure,
Make me clear,
Without doubts.

Give me a chance.
I'm sure it will be better.

Should I stay or should I go?
Should I hold on or should I let go?
Should carry on or should I give up?

I seriously don't know. I think I'm quite in a mess now. My head's spinning and questioning things that I've wondered about before. It comes and go. Even I'm not too sure myself. Week after week I tell myself to think about it and not act rash. But maybe it's time i just do it or maybe I should just wait a while more and see.

I'm tired. I don't know why.

[Song: Sanbika-Plastic Tree]

Life's been really busy lately man. Guess that's just how sec 4 life is. And to think that I still have tuition later. The whole week has been maths and tests man. Geog's test tomorrow. See! I have to study for it later again. But actually I think it's quite good you know. It sort of forces you to study and prepare for Os. I already have the want to study feeling in me la! That's so unlike me. Maybe all that stress and lack of sleep is taking its toll on me. It's already the 4th day that I'm sick and it's irritating me. I'm also getting this really black rings around my eyes and my patience for people is getting lesser. I don't know why either.

The C Div boys are really on steroids I tell you! They are the 1st qualifier for both 4x100m and 4x400m! Yes! You heard that right! Even faster than sports school! And sometimes you wonder why the stupid damn government waste so much money building a hundred over million complex for them. Okay, that's not the point. But then again they are sick. They didn't even do their warm up and stretching for their 4x100m due to some rescheduling which they were not told about and they still did 46s! How retarded are they man! At least they are not like the shit B Div which already has so many flops including me! For the 1st time in God knows how many years we didn't qualify for the 4x100m finals. You know whose to blame? That fucking shit Mr Chua. Who is hated by all of us and whose training is ineffective. He is freaking damn biased la. I shall shut up now. It's only making me more pissed. Anyway, I'm still unsure if I want to continue track in JC, but I have a strong feeling that I will though. We shall see.

I called M1 to order my phone yesterday and they have no stock for the online purchase! Damn it! I can't wait man! Unless of course I go down to the shop and get it, in which I have to pay $30 more. I wouldn't want to waste that kind of money man. I'm also not in a rush to get it. Plus I have to save money too and it's my third week not eating recess already. So yeah, I guess I shall just have to wait and check with them next week again.

Bye!

Libertad.